I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
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