apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
