i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize