Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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