so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
