I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
She has the best kind of daddy issues
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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