we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Randomize
