Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
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