I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Randomize
