U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Randomize
