I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
she pinky promised me she was 18
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
