Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
