what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
