he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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