i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I have fence marks all over my body
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
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