garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
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