Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
