I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
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