I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
