By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
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