I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Randomize
