Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
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