Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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