How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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