Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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