So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
jump out the window naked night went bad
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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