Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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