how can u be prego again
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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