This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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