I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Randomize