i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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