YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
