i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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