he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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