At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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