omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
it was like eating out sand paper
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
