I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
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