Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
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