Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Randomize
