i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
