Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
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