this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
