So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Randomize
