super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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