How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
My hand turned me down
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
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