He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
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