I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
