I wish I could punch you in the face.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
So gin and wine won't be happening again
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
whose parrot is this?
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Randomize
