She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
