I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
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