Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
