So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
