i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
