Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
