One girl and one boy is just not enough.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Randomize
