so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
