Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
