Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize