why didn't you poke me back
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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