guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize