I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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